Its Hard….. but keep it lite!

I have realise the key to making a serious (or on the way to being long term) relationship work.  The trick is no matter how emotions take over, good ones and bad (I too get caught up in the feelings of deep cosy love when things are going right) KEEP IT LITE. Being in a relationship is supposed to be an enjoyable situation for all parties concerned. For those who are not serial girlfriends/boyfriends it can take a while to be in a relationship as you neither look for or willing want to be in one.  So no matter who you are you find yourself (what feels like submitting to) in love, times goes on and eventually cracks start to appear.  We are only human after all, people that think it is normal not to argue with your partner are deluded and living in more of a dream world than me. Cracks now blatantly obvious and being a clever girl/guy you are sent into a bit of a  panik (did I miss judge his/her character?, now I cant trust ever , ever again, who is this person I fell in love with?, imagine if we had moved in together/had kids etc) what follows is numerous unnecessary discussions, arguments, frustrations (men and women never understand each other esp when there is pressure to do so). To avoid getting to this point:

• As soon as there is a problem, tell your partner about it (sounds obvious but many people decide to mull it over for a few months/discuss it on facebook/myspace etc/jeremy kyle. 
• If the problem causes you to lose some trust in your partner, be it actual trust or trust in who they are as a person and realistically you know you are not going to end the relationship (although you swear to your friends that’s it he/she is getting on your last nerve) remember what it is you want to/are doing with your life. If there is nothing you want to do or are doing with yourself theres a problem.

 Albert Einstein

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

• This helps your remember who you are away from the relationship and that the relationship is not the be all and end all.
• You are the star in your life and only you can control what kind of  role your willing to accept.
• As soon as you concentrate back on your self as opposed to “the two of you”, you will find that your relationship naturally sorts its self  out, even if that means it ending.