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EXACTLY!……….
I have realise the key to making a serious (or on the way to being long term) relationship work. The trick is no matter how emotions take over, good ones and bad (I too get caught up in the feelings of deep cosy love when things are going right) KEEP IT LITE. Being in a relationship is supposed to be an enjoyable situation for all parties concerned. For those who are not serial girlfriends/boyfriends it can take a while to be in a relationship as you neither look for or willing want to be in one. So no matter who you are you find yourself (what feels like submitting to) in love, times goes on and eventually cracks start to appear. We are only human after all, people that think it is normal not to argue with your partner are deluded and living in more of a dream world than me. Cracks now blatantly obvious and being a clever girl/guy you are sent into a bit of a panik (did I miss judge his/her character?, now I cant trust ever , ever again, who is this person I fell in love with?, imagine if we had moved in together/had kids etc) what follows is numerous unnecessary discussions, arguments, frustrations (men and women never understand each other esp when there is pressure to do so). To avoid getting to this point:
- As soon as there is a problem, tell your partner about it (sounds obvious but many people decide to mull it over for a few months/discuss it on facebook/myspace etc/jeremy kyle.
- If the problem causes you to lose some trust in your partner, be it actual trust or trust in who they are as a person and realistically you know you are not going to end the relationship (although you swear to your friends that’s it he/she is getting on your last nerve) remember what it is you want to/are doing with your life. If there is nothing you want to do or are doing with yourself theres a problem.
| “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” | |
- This helps your remember who you are away from the relationship and that the relationship is not the be all and end all.
- You are the star in your life and only you can control what kind of role your willing to accept.
- As soon as you concentrate back on your self as opposed to “the two of you”, you will find that your relationship naturally sorts its self out, even if that means it ending.
Me: “Think positive”
Me: “Nooo think the worst then if that doesn’t happen its a bonus”
Me: “Nooooo the power of thought is bigger than you think, keep thinking negative and negative things will happen”
Me: (SLAP) “Right! Just don’t think about possible outcomes at all, especially things which you have no way of predicting the outcomes of”
Me: Okay
During my 28 yrs of life I have come across many strong, opinionated, fiery, confident characters (by these I don’t mean just the bully, egotistic types, but those who just have something to them). What seems to be common among people with these characteristics is they can quite easily deal with, advise about and have an opinion on any subject, person, place, trade, skill with ease yet they can not stand up and deal with themselves, this is quite sad. I fall into this group of people as I am good at advising and having opinion’s but not so good at taking my own advise, soooo I have decided to give myself (and anyone else I feel needs one ie bus drivers, celebs and politicians) a regular MORNING SLAP obviously not in the literal sense . My morning slaps will be delivered first thing and by the army corporal version of me, my own personal motivator, adviser and confidante.
Today’s morning slap was for myself.
ME: “Plans never go to plan so don’t you dare let interferences or minor obstacles get you down, think positive, POSITIVE.
Me: ” OHH KAY THEN”
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Throw a fist full of glitter in the air (idea stolen of pink)
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Have a meal with the girlies and all run off without paying..hehehe
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Give a public speech on my opinions
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Have sex in the rain
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Parachute out of an aeroplane
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Have regular spa weekends with my daughter when shes older..:)
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Write an advisory life manual for daughter in case anything was ever to happen to me..(touch wood)
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Go on a road trip (destination is irrelevant)
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Regenerate and overhaul all youth centers.
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See myself with a four pack (even if its done on photo shop)
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Take my mum on a holiday of a life time
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Dance naked somewhere, probably in rain again…lol
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Learn to smile more
When people refer to life as a roller coaster their not exaggerating. I’m nearly 28 now and am sick of being tested and having to learn lessons, fair enough Ill probably be a wise old woman one day but boy are my eye bags gonna be bad. S/M (soul mate) decided this weekend to show me a whole new side to him that has took 3 whole years to veer its ugly head JEALOUS PARANOID S/M! This relationship was done right don’t get me wrong esp as I have a child, I have took it extra extra slow to the point were we have only recently started talking about moving in together (she also only meet him for first time a month ago that’s how cautious I`ve been) I don’t want her meeting guys then it doesn’t work out an eventually she has to be introduced to someone else. It has taken along time to come to trust S/M and it had got to the point were I knew and he knew we were perfect for each other. This relationship was different to all our past ones, for me I was at a stage (25) were I had come to terms with, excepted and was proud of who I was single parent or not, I had taken myself off to uni and was slowly building a life. He was the same really, he knew what he wanted in someone and what he didn’t. We complement each other perfectly in every way, sex is fantastic, we laugh alot (which is very important to me), we fancy each other still and prob always will, Ive managed to drum into his head that im a big girl so he never needs to lie to me about anything (I wouldnt give up the will to live for example, if told he didn’t want to see me anymore) . The bottom line is I have a lot at stake here, I know the incident at the weekend has not happened before, but now im wondering just how well I really know him. I feel like phoning his kids mum, as much as I have natural hate for her (like you do with your partners babies mum) theres always two sides to a story. For now Im goin to put moving in together on hold, I find it easy forgiving someone because everyone makes mistakes, what Im going to find hard is FORGETTING. I really hope we (well I) can get over this as it 
would be such a shame to lose.
